DJ Duk

August 23, 2006

More Wisdon

No I don't mean wisdom; wisdon is a sort of cheap plastic version of wisdom available at Walgreen's. I have plenty of wisdon, and as such I'm pleased to assist another of my loyal readers.

Dear DJ Duk,

I have a great recipe for Peking Duk that I want to
try. I need to find some large Duk breasts for this
recipe, but am having a hard time tracking them down
(and I keep getting slapped!). Do you have any sickly
friends that I could hook up with? I will make sure
they are treated humanely until the end.

Yours,
Kung "Pao" Johnson

Oh Pao,

This is bad Pao, very bad. You keep getting slapped? That's weak. You wanna seize the breast you're gonna have to be ninja fast. Not speedy, not regular fast, not even the mythical 'fast hands' will do. Ninja Fast. Now I know what you're thinking. Ninja Fast is a damn lot of work. You'll spend time dodging raindrops until you don't get wet in the rain. You'll spend days on end playing keep away with some old Chinese bastard who calls you 'grasshopper.' You may even have to train against the raging sea. It's hard.

Well it's worth it Pao. When you finally lay hands on that succulent Duk breast, when you shape your Peking Duk with your own hands, when you savor your first bite of fresh tender meat and sigh at the smooth, fulfilling, flavor you'll know it was worth any amount of training that made no sense.

Now Pao, I know you're thinking this method is too hard. I know you're thinking that because you asked me to find you "a sickly friend." That isn't right Pao, and you know it. You don't want just any Duk. You want a prime Duk breast, something to be proud of. Something you'd see in a photograph. Like on the Food channel. Face it Pao, you need to be Ninja Fast.

You'll thank me.

DJ Duk

Posted by DjDuk at August 23, 2006 11:44 AM | TrackBack