May 18, 2004
Troy
If you go to see Troy remember a few things. Achilles did gain everlasting fame, but basically for being the most famous Greek cross dresser, a point sadly lacking from the movie.
Also, Helen of Troy was supposed to be born from an egg, why does she have a belly button?
Posted by DjDuk at 02:17 AM | Comments (601)
May 14, 2004
A fact
"Aristotle taught that the brain is used merely to cool the blood. This is true only of certain persons."
Will Cuppy
Posted by DjDuk at 12:35 AM | Comments (22)
May 10, 2004
A boy and his worm
This is the empassioned story of a boy and his worm. Anyone considering adopting a worm of their own should read this. (Warning this may turn some people away from ever eating meat again.)
Posted by Ripley at 12:28 PM | Comments (642)
a priori
Obviously a single Priori. Pay attention.
Posted by DjDuk at 01:01 AM | Comments (0)
Cuteness
The property of being cute, maybe. DJ Duk has been advised he oozes cuteness. He promises to carry around paper towels and to see a dermatologist.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:56 AM | Comments (606)
Comas
Well, as I recently discovered, these are not punctuation. Comas serve mostly as plot devices. A coma is a state in which a soap opera character's actor can take a vacation without having to be killed. The advent of comas was supposed to cut down on the prevalence of 'Evil" twins. It failed. Now the same actor can have two, even three characters drop conveniently in and out of comas whenever they want to catch some sun. This is why soap opera coma patients all feature good tans. A brief coma is likely the result of a delayed flight to Hawaii.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:54 AM | Comments (1)
Commas
Evidentially the biggest key on my keyboard. Why else would I have so many extraneous commas in every post I write before I edit them? And likely afterword too.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:46 AM | Comments (1)
Chibi-Stalin
Nope.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:41 AM | Comments (6)
Animaniacs
A discontinued afterschool cartoon. One of the best of its type, Animaniacs is responsible for Pinky & the Brain, Mindy & Buttons, and The "Countries of the World" Song. Animaniacs is mentioned here because it is the one notable exception to the "Chibi-Stalin" rule.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:40 AM | Comments (605)
Chibi
Another peculiar aberation from Japan. Chibi gets appended to the front of a word to indicate a smaller version with multiplied cuteness. There is no real reason for anybody to know this, except that any good Sailor Moon fan will announce this or some other piece of marginally related trivia every few seconds. Chibi gained prominence in the U.S. through Sailor Moon, where one of the characters is Chibi-moon. This word doesn't always work. If a thing's cuteness is zero multipling it doesn't help. For instance Chibi-SPAM just means a bit less SPAM. Its better, but given that there is still SPAM involved, not a good thing. Chibi-Stalin is right out.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:36 AM | Comments (603)
Facts
A Fact is anything that cannot be refuted or disproved. In theory that would suggest that facts would be logical and self-consistent, self evident, or based upon universally observable data. In truth facts are the opposite. Any argument so ridiculous as to make a listener speechless, and therefore unable to provide a counter argument, must be a fact. Any non sequitur, ad hominem, or ad hoc can be a fact if outrageous enough to result in a splutter of indignation. Facts are easier and easier to come by as one moves further and further from logic.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:26 AM | Comments (639)
The Truth
DJ Duk is not a Penguin.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:11 AM | Comments (0)
May 05, 2004
Lexicon Entries
Today I have gone back through all of the paper archives of chicken scratch that constitutes DJ Duk's handwriting, if you can call it that, and added all the Lexicon entries from our previous, short lived, website. Enjoy.
Posted by Ripley at 03:00 PM | Comments (622)
Quetzalcoatl
Cryptozoological winged serpent of Aztek fame. Quetzalcoatl (Q) is the lynch pin of my five year plane to take over the world. Q has excellent market potential. Symbolicaly very powerful, with the right marketing Q could easily adorn cereal boxes and clothing. Q would make an excellent cartoon show. Q has crossgender appeal as well. Boys will like the serpent aspect, fierce, powerful, and venomous. Girls can appreciate our new line of plush Q winged toys. I can’t mention anymore about the plan, you might steal it. Frankly, you know too much already…
Posted by Ripley at 02:58 PM | Comments (2)
Yo Yo Ma
A dangerous and unstable individual, harmless by himself, but deadly in the company of his Cellos. Known as the "Cellowhisperer", Mr. Ma has been continuously accompanied by at least one bloodthirsty Cello since the age of four. Briefly gaining fame for his mysterious power over the Cello, Yo began to lose popularity when he started feeding his audience to the main attraction. After sacrificing sellout crowds at both the Sydney Opera House and Shay's Stadium to his pack of Cellos' voracious appetites, Yo Yo Ma was apprehended by the authorities and to this day remains locking in Arkham Asylum vowing to have his revenge on Batman.
Posted by Ripley at 02:53 PM | Comments (617)
Cello
Any one of a number of species of large, seagoing carnivores. The Cello is known for is distinctive hunting call, the tempo of which accelerates as the Cello prepares to strike. The Cello was made famous in the Speilberg horror films, "Jaws", in which an exceptionally vicious Cello terrorizes skinny dippers, Richard Dreyfus, and a passing Great White shark.
Posted by Ripley at 02:48 PM | Comments (2)
Capitalism
An economic system characterized by free trade. Obviously unfair because money will be acquired by the intelligent, hard working few, who, under this ridiculous system, are not compelled to enrich the lazy fat asses of the rest of us.
Posted by Ripley at 02:46 PM | Comments (4)
Ninja
Anyone or anything that disappears in a puff of smoke, and is also a mammal. This means, much to my chagrin, no ninja Duks.
Posted by Ripley at 02:44 PM | Comments (2)
Chomsky, Noam
An MIT professor, Chomsky is one of the chief proponents of the idea that America is a bully nation. A firm believer in the idea that Americans ought to be punished for success, home and abroad. Chomsiky is, quite rightly, considered irrelevant by every person who is, in fact, relevant. Also the name of DJ Duk's stuffed penguin.
Posted by Ripley at 02:43 PM | Comments (3)
Innumerable
More then four.
Posted by Ripley at 02:39 PM | Comments (2)
Xenomorph
A stalker in a rubber suit. The most famous example relentlessly tried for Sigourney Weavers 
autograph resulting in innumerable chases through dimly lit corridors.
Posted by Ripley at 02:38 PM | Comments (611)
Scorpion 3
(Content deleted by censors)
Posted by Ripley at 02:37 PM | Comments (625)
Umpa Lumpas
Little orange men from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", ("Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" for you book people). Unpla Lumpas toil away for capitalist overlord Wonka, mass-producing chocolate in sweatshop conditions. Occasionally the Umpa Lumpas burst into song revealing the wisdom of the masses. 
Wonka quickly squelches these musical morals, forcing the 'Lumpas to get back to work, all the while leading unsuspecting children further and further into his web of greed. This continues until one lucky youngster is chosen to inherit, without real merit or investment of labor, the entire chocolate factory. This further disenfranchising the poor beleaguered Umpa Lumpas. Similar in many respects to Czarist Russia, the Umpa Lumpa situation is ripe for Glorious Revolution.
Posted by Ripley at 02:35 PM | Comments (248)