September 25, 2004
Weasel
A small mammal, excellent at subterfuge, that resorts to trickery and guile to achieve what it wants. Traditionally weasels steal chickens. Most democrats shorter than 6 feet (and Carville) would qualify as weasels. In the modern era, possibly due to a lack of native habitat, weasels have begun to make in-roads in areas populated by humans. Two notable spots are Washington D.C. and my own workplace.
Weasels in the workplace are common all across America where they gravitate toward training and management positions. A working weasel is characterized by dishonesty, furtiveness, and a tendency to steal lunches from common refrigerators. Covey's notable book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" had a section on how to deal with weasels that was cut by a senior (weasel) editor. There is no good way to deal with a weasel. Lucky employees can work around them.
Some weasels end up in Washington D.C. and join political parties. These weasels can be referred to collectively as Democrats. The good news is that getting rid of them is as simple as voting. The bad news is a weasel with legitimate power can steal a lot of Chickens.
Posted by DjDuk at 10:12 PM | Comments (0)
September 10, 2004
Worst Case Political Scenario Survival Guide - Introduction
For years now worst case scenario survival guides have been coming out to assist people in unlikely but life threatening situations. In addition to the general guide there are circumstantial guides for Golf, Dating, and other more specific scenarios.
Given the hotly contested Presidential race going on I've recently been asking myself, "What will I do if John Kerry is elected President?" With all of the pundits and commentators so concerned with generating a desired outcome the wiser, more experienced voices I usually turn to are not providing adequate answers to this question. Therefore I have decided to endeavor to answer this question and several others of a similar ilk on my own and to post the answers here.
Part One. What to do in the event that John Kerry (or to a lesser extent, any Democrat) is elected president.
1. Accept it: As unfortunate as it is, a Democrat has been elected to the White House. This is no reason to act like a Democrat. Republicans (or Patriotic Americans) have an excellent history of honoring the office of the President and coming together to achieve the Commander in Chief's stated goals. Frequently Republicans honor the office of President much more than the current office holder does. Continue to do so.
2. Don't Panic: Despite the clear and obvious disaster that will have over taken us, don't succumb to panic. Take a moment to look on the bright side. A Kerry win in '04 frees us from any more Clintonion Presidential ambition until at least '12.
3. Work Within the System: If Kerry is going to leave his Republican successor anything besides a smoking ruin he's going to need dedicated principled men and women to oppose him every step of the way. The key there is to do it through recognized political channels, to avoid using judicial fiats, and to suck it up and enact the man's policies in good faith. Too often good people have recognized bad policy and failed to faithfully fulfill it. Then when the policy fails those people are blamed and people like socialists never learn their lesson. The best way to get a Democrat out of power is to let him show his true colors.
4. Look Local: While the preceding provisions will help the nation survive, individual prosperity also becomes less certain under a Democrat. While the Federal Executive branch may be lost state and local governments can still be brought to heel and possibly even used to curb the power of Washington. Also, Federal Legislative power is the best check on a president. Having a clear majority in the legislature is a good thing to work for. Volunteer to assist candidates on the right side, with just two years to midterm elections there's a lot to be done.
5. Don't Die: Kerry has said he wants to bring back the estate tax. This is essentially a way for the government to charge a family for letting one of its members die. Its a bit like the swirled Fruit Roll-Ups that have two flavors in one. Taxes and Death becomes Taxes on Death. A whole list of other taxes and subscriptions is likely to appear. It may not be a bad idea to get acquainted with the works of experts on avoiding paying taxes. Perennial libertarian candidate Harry Brown has a few books that may be helpful. Or wait for a Teresa Heintz biography and see how she gets out of paying taxes.
6. Stock Up: Any Democratic President is going to be more open to gun control proposals. Make certain you can defend yourself when the going gets rough and the Democrats start asking for U.N. intervention in Detroit.
7. Learn Arabic: The absolute worst case for a Democratic presidency is a literal surrender to Terrorists. We may not get a chance to elect a Republican in '08 if we end up with a White House Mosque and a Mullah on every corner. (Some parts of America have a Mullet on every corner already. This may be worse) Being able to speak and read the language of the invader will surely be an advantage.
That's as much as I have for right now. I may update (or maybe edit and spell check) this later.
Posted by DjDuk at 01:47 AM | Comments (2)
Cthulu
One of the "Old Gods." A horrific insanity causing ancient beast invented by H.P. Lovecraft and various others as the source of all that is evil. Cthulu is frequently represented as something of a giant space octopus. Massive, slimy, and writhing with tentacles Cthulu is served by various outerdimensional creatures called Yugoloth.
Cthulu is often seen trapped at the bottom of the ocean or in a separate dimension and many of the principals in Lovecraftian fiction go mad seeing that he stays there. This is my best explanation for Bill O'Reilly.
Cthulu isn't too far a cry from Hillary Clinton. Both are inscrutable beings who mysteriously acquire more power than is good for humanity. Both are somewhat unsettling to be around. Both have arcane, shadowy goals contrary to common sense that can only be achieved through Hermetic methods. Both are served by loathsome creatures not suitable for television (Admit it, you’ve never seen Terry McAuliffe on TV and you know its because he's a giant bug or something. Every Republican has these thoughts)
Which brings us back to O'Reilly. At one point he was a conservative journalist. A rare but noble calling similar in form and substance to the soldier that throws himself on a hand grenade to save his foxhole mates. At some point O'Reilly stopped being conservative and became nuts. Having had the chance to overhear O'Reilly's radio show in recent days its clear he is not a stable man. His form is still conservative but he hasn't expressed an idea worth the name. He just babbles on inanely (no, not like I do, differently) not bothering to connect one thought to another. So what happened to this poor fellow to drive him mad? No one knows, but if I had to guess I'd say he investigated la femme Clinton a bit to deeply and found a few Yugoloths in the closet.
Posted by DjDuk at 12:46 AM | Comments (0)