December 31, 2004
Cheap Trick (pt. 4)
For the first time since it's creation this site has a logged a post for every day of the month. Including today, with this post. Because it counts as a post. Really.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (572)
December 30, 2004
Another attempt
Alright so the blacklisting of IP addresses has not stemmed the tide of comment spam that we have been receiving. So after doing so research I have opted for another plan. I just finished installing and configuring MT-Blacklist. This seems to be a popular MoveableType plugin and also was the easiest solution I came across. It should help prevent people from leaving bulk comments, in theory. At least its better than nothing and it allows me to search and delete comments in bulk.
Posted by Ripley at 11:44 AM | Comments (613)
December 29, 2004
Cassandra
A daughter of Priam, King of Troy, and Hecuba, his queen. Cassandra is gifted with the ability to see the future by Apollo and then cursed by him not to be believed. She has a brief, very frustrating, life and ends up as a constellation I can never find. Cassandra spends most of her life warning people that they're about to do something stupid and then crying quietly after she's been ignored and the city has fallen or the king has been stabbed in the bath. Later she cries quite volubly when people ask, "Why didn't we see this coming?" In this way Cassandra is just like the warning on a package of cigarettes. Everybody hears it, everybody knows its there, nobody listens to it, and then they wonder why nobody warned them when they get all sorts of exotic cancers.
Posted by DjDuk at 03:09 AM | Comments (612)
December 28, 2004
The Hong Kong rule
The rule that governs any martial arts movie fight scene. This essentially mandates that no matter how many ninjas, thugs, toughs, hooligans, guards, or minions there are surrounding a main character only one, or at most two, may attack at a given time. The Hong Kong rule has better obedience than the speed limit.
Posted by DjDuk at 02:08 AM | Comments (2)
December 27, 2004
The Evil Overlord list
A work of pure genius, this is just a list of mistakes previously made by villains to avoid if you ever find yourself the despotic ruler of a small nation, evil organization, or even the world. Enjoy.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 26, 2004
SPECTRE
The evil organization Sean Connery's James Bond dealt with most frequently. Notable members include founding member Blofeld (behind the scenes in all of them), Largo (Thunderball), Dr. No (Figure it out Bailey), and Irma Bunt (the individual responsible for the murder of Bond's wife and the subsequent joy of several hundred other women). These men (and woman) represent all that is now cliché and silly about supervillians. Largo actually uses the phrase "And now you learn the price of failure," before to turning to shoot a random minion not related to the failure he's discussing.
Despite that SPECTRE agent remains my dream job. The perks are just too great. Color-coded jump-suited minions to carry out my every evil command. A plethora of overly complicated death traps, each more absurd and escapable than the last. Several doomsday weapon options to choose from. SPECTRE was the first group to really make the jump from regular vanilla villainy to genuine supervilliany. What's not to love? Certainly the occasional James Bond could be a problem, but with Pierce Brosnan retiring there simply aren't anymore debonair heroes to cause the supervillian community trouble. I expect supervilliany to be a growth industry rivaling health care over the next 15 years.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (4)
December 25, 2004
Christmas
As Ann Coulter puts it, "...I belong to a small religious cult that celebrates the birth of Jesus this week." So to be brief.
The Gospel of Luke, 2:1-20
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem (because he was of the house and lineage of David), to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord come upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another: "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is to come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us." And they came with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 24, 2004
Christmas Eve
My family opens presents on Christmas eve. Since I have so many new toys I've finally got a reason for not updating.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (621)
December 23, 2004
Churchill and Lady Astor
"Winston, if I were married to you I'd put poison in your coffee"...."Nancy, if I were married to you I'd drink it."
From winstonchurchill.org
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (627)
December 22, 2004
Vegetius
A fourth century military historian. Vegetius was a fan of the "ancient" Roman way of doing things. This involved a great deal of discipline, murder, and carrying treasure from other places back to Rome. He sounded a call for a return from the "modern" Roman methods, not so much discipline and lot of murdered emperors and an outflow of treasure to people like the Huns, to this highly preferable former heuristic.
He carefully collected what he could find out about how the ancients did it and wrote a small book he sent off the current emperor. There's no record that any changes were made to follow his advice but everybody proclaimed him a genius and the emperor commissioned him to write more advice to not be followed. It's hard to consider his writing to be the work of a genius, he noticed that soldiers didn't like to wear too much armor because it was heavy and that they did poorly in battle because nobody could remember where the armor was, and nobody ever seems to have done what he advised until Napoleon more than a millennium later.
The question that leaves me with is why the devil has this very average wet blanket came down to us through history as one of the military historian geniuses of the ages? The answer, as far as I can tell was his position as an above average lickspittle. He prefaced every book he wrote with an obsequious letter of introduction describing just what a genius the emperor was. My theory is the emperor never got to the jumble of discipline and order in the middle; he got through the fawning and commissioned seven more paragraphs of top quality brownnosing.
Or possibly that's just how things were done in the ancient world.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 21, 2004
Orwellian Language pt 2
The practice of referring to things only in the positive, and in the least severe form, in order to strike unnecessary words from the lexicon. If something is good it's "good." If something is very good it's "plus good." If bad, "ungood" and if truly rotten "double plus ungood." The purpose in 1984 is to remove as many words from people thought processes as possible as a means of control. Under the assumption that people need a word to think about something, if over the course of a few years certain words drop out of common usage and no word of similar meaning replaces them, people will abandon that concept. Once "ungood" is established "bad" can go away. As can, with a bit of effort and the expansion of the word "good," terrible, rotten, Democrat, soggy, cold, monster, evil, pusillanimous, pedantic, Florida, and Ragnorak. All are simply "ungood," or maybe "plus ungood."
Since I'm far too lazy to come up with my own rating system, coolness meter (even one based on donuts), or other measuring stick the official DJ Duk rating for things will "good" or "ungood."
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (57)
December 20, 2004
Street Fighter II
There is not a single guy my age I've ever spoken with that won't brag about some accomplishment of his in this game. Except Bailey. This may be leading us back to the "Bailey is a giant girl" theory again.
Nevertheless, Street Fighter II is a one on one fighting game in which a player selects one of eight characters and attempts to pummel the remaining seven into submission. At the end four other guys show up for no evident reason and also require pummeling. In later versions four additional characters and some attempt at story are added. The game was phenomenally successful spawning two TV series, at least one movie, and six sequels that were still called Street Fighter II. It's also had two different sequels that are both called Street Fighter III. Also at least three prequels all called Street Fighter 0 (or Alpha, depends on which continent you ask). This fails to mention the several crossovers and 3-D versions. The only thing they haven't made several of is Street Fighter I.
The other thing about Street Fighter II is its astounding ability to draw The Rage from inside even the most placid of people. The game can be maddening. All you want to do, the one single thing in the universe that would make your life complete, would be to throw a Dragon Punch. What does the character do? Damn jackass hops and throws a straight punch in mid-air. Then, naturally, the fuzzy electric beast that you're fighting knocks you out of the air like a clay pigeon and proceeds to eat your face. Three times in a row. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty good at his game. I can't beat the perennial 12 year old Asian kid that hangs out at the local arcade, but I like my chances against any other white guy. Despite that every once in a while I just can't make the game conform to my will. Street Fighter tantrums are also common to every guy my age, except for Miss Bailey.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 19, 2004
NaNoWriMo
National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo takes place every November; thousands of people make a commitment to write at least a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Obviously nobody commits to a very good novel, but the point of the exercise is to have a highly focused writing period with a deadline. When I first heard about this my first thought was, "Who would be dumb enough to do a thing like that." The short answer seems to be "me." After mentioning NaNoWriMo to a friend I managed to get myself peer pressured into agreeing to write a novel. Other people get people to peer pressure them into doing drugs. Lucky bastards.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 18, 2004
Sasquatch
Known to live in the Pacific Northwest. Sasquatch are hairy, unkempt, manlike beasts that lurk in the woods and forage for sustenance there. In all likelihood Sasquatch are simply lost hippies.
Look at the similarities. Hippies originated in the San Francisco area and by this time a large population has migrated north to the Seattle area. It's not impossible many of them became lost on the way and decided to remain in the forests of Oregon and Washington. The average hippy, male and female, can best be described as oddly hairy and typically ungroomed. A predilection toward the smelly type of fuzziness is also common in Bigfoot sightings.
One of the real keys is the Sasquatch's notorious camera shyness. I think this is not a real desire to avoid the spotlight. Rather it's an effect of unfortunate timing. "Dude, if they get the stash on camera we'll go to jail, man. That's not cool. Better run away."
There, one cryptozoological mystery solved.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (2)
December 17, 2004
Fanta
Fizzy, fruit flavored, pistol targets. Fanta comes in very visible purple and orange cans that blow up quite nicely during encounters with ballistic projectiles. Imagining you're shooting that damn song they have in their commercials is an added bonus.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (586)
December 16, 2004
Copa Cabana
Barry Manilow's "greatest" hit. Copa Cabana is basically a disco song that tells the very short, unpleasant story of Lola, a dancer at the Copa Cabana nightclub, her boyfriend and bartender Tony, and high roller Rico. In four verses the lot of them get destroyed. How I wish they had taken the song with them.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (23)
December 15, 2004
Ruritania
An invented country from the venerable (but still quite good) adventure/romance "The Prisoner of Zenda." Ruritania has a tendency to get used as a convenient place name for any real sounding locale somebody wants to use in a parable, an adventure story, or a romance. In the original story Ruritania is a central European kingdom with more kings that it really needs. I like Ruritanian history more than Zanzibar because some jackass can't go on the CIA world fact book and find out all about it 10 seconds. Ruritania makes good bluff material.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (23)
December 14, 2004
Cryptozoology
The study of animals that don't exist. I love saying that. The study of animals that don't exist. It's wonderful. It seems like the perfect, completely freeform, surrealist job. While there are some conventions to what cryptozoologists do (I think they have a school for taking fuzzy pictures and unclear video) mostly a crypozoologist can say or do whatever he wants because he's an expert on things unprovable. It's like claiming to be a Ruritanian historian, since Ruritania never existed its history is completely open to "interpretation."
I'd like to be a cryptozoologist and study the rare and elusive Rocky Mountain short-haired Bigfoot. I've already got one specimen, Bailey, and I'm sure I could take blurry photos of him, put them on the internet, and somebody would be convinced he's a picnic basket stealing monster.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (2)
December 13, 2004
Wonky
I got mocked for using this word today. Usually I use a word and if somebody doesn't understand what I mean it's a reflection on their poor vocabulary. As I was trying to justify using this word I realized it's not precisely the King's English. I was embarrassed. Now my mockery of the vocabulary of others seems hollow. The person who mocked me was adamantly convinced at one point that Mussolini was the "guy who escaped from those tanks of water and stuff." Clearly, he wasn't. In brief, for those of you who don't know, wonky simply means not operating under normal parameters but also not completely broken. The washing machine that gets the cloths clean but travels seven feet across the laundry room floor while doing it is acting wonky.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 12, 2004
Holy Grail
Traditionally this is the cup Christ used at the last supper. Also, or maybe instead, it was a cup used to catch some of his blood after he was pierced by a spear during the crucifixion. To those of us who aren't catholic that makes it a very interesting museum piece. To the catholic it's a holy relic imbued with mystical powers. One of the powers of the Holy Grail is to inspire quests to find it. King Arthur, Charlemagne' court, and Indian Jones are good examples. I'm a bit fuzzy on what other powers there might be but they may have something to do violence against the French. I base that theory on the legends of King Arthur.
Briefly Arthur has an early story that culminates in his becoming the legendary king that unites England. He has some further adventures as the king and assembles a great host of knights who occupy a round table and have a great many adventures of their own. One of those knights, Lancelot du Lac (du lac means "of the lake" for those wise among you who have neglected to learn any of the sniveling vowel heavy language of the cheese easting surrender monkeys) is a powerful warrior, an exemplary knight, and French. Eventually Lance, the only French knight commonly invited to the round table, begins an affair with Arthur's Queen, Guinevere. They continue for a bit until the affair comes to light. After a bit of violence Gwen ends up in a nunnery, Lance is wandering about as a hermit, and Arthur just sits depressed in his hall.
The upshot is the adventure friendly court of Camelot has ground to a halt. Under this circumstance the land of England begins to suffer. It's common to blame Arthur, for as king he's supposed to have a mystical connection with the land, but I imagine all of those knights suddenly at loose ends ranging about the countryside pillaging instead of adventuring might have something to do with it. Regardless, recognizing the need for change Art sends out a decree, his knights are to stop pillaging and go find him the Holy Grail. Its never been clear to me why he wants it, but in order to get it he sends his rampaging knights into France. On further consideration he may want it just to use one of it's mysterious powers to harm Lancelot, at this point Arthur still holds a bit of a grudge in that direction.
One of the knights does eventually find the Grail but by that time it's really too late as a witch with an army is now rampaging through England while the knights are still decimating France (and according to some accounts Germany, Italy, Spain, and Ireland). Arthur dies (or vanishes, or goes to Avalon or whatever), his magic sword is lost, his famous table gets broken, and most of the knights are horribly killed. No word on what happened to the Grail. Which is fine, it means it's still out there waiting for somebody to find it.
Because of all the searching about people did for the Grail, and the colossal amount of no good that it did, any doomed, very lengthy, or all consuming search for something gets metaphorically referred to as a Grail quest.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (33)
December 11, 2004
Surrealism
I can't genuinely say that I understand surrealism, and as I learn more about it I begin think that might just be the point. In brief surrealism is the generation of objects from the unconscious mind for the conscious to examine and interpret. Surrealism (or Dadaism, or Dalism, or whackjobism or whatever it calls itself this week) is quite obviously pointless, nonproductive, and pretensions. In short, art. Surrealists engage in activities like Automatic Writing (writing without deliberately thinking about what your writing) to enter a state of Critical Paranoia. Critical Paranoia is essentially the act of driving yourself temporarily insane in order to view the world in a different way. It leads, supposedly, to a greater understanding of things thus viewed. To a certain extent this has been enlightening. Many of the "double image" optical illusions are a result of a state of critical paranoia. Also, unfortunately, is a great deal of random (no Bailey, DJ Duk has nothing to do with critical paranoia) crap. Still, it's kinda fun. The Surrealist Compliment Generator is always entertaining.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (596)
December 10, 2004
Recovery
I've been ill for about 4 days now. Today I went from wishing I'd die to being afraid I might. I'm going to take that as a slight sign of improvement.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:32 PM | Comments (593)
December 09, 2004
Robin Hood
Just felt a need to correct the common misconception that Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor. That's been a popular myth among socialists who like to seem like Robin Hood when they plunder from everybody. In point of fact Robin Hood stole from the government and the Catholic Church (Undeniably the rich, but not the rich socialists would have us prune money from. Well, churches probably, but certainly not government) and gave to the general public. Rather, gave back to the general public. The money he stole had been extorted from the people by a thuggish government and he was simply developing a crude, early version of the tax return.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)
December 08, 2004
Fate
A predestined future. One's fate is the inevitable, predetermined, outcome of one's life. A concept I don't believe in, but one that's quite useful in getting pushy salesmen to go away. Telemarketers never have a really good answer to, "I'm sorry, I already know I don't refinance my mortgage right now, it's not my fate." Having no good comeback to prognostication most salesmen will just hang up. Of course this is a self fulfilling prophesy, too. Their inability to respond makes the initial soothsaying a fact. Because you've made a prediction about the future and it's become a fact you've just performed an act of prophesy. Thus, fate only works for those who make it.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (604)
December 07, 2004
Pearl Harbor Day
Today is Pearl Harbor day. On this day 63 years ago the Japanese opened up a new game of Motte and Bailey in Hawaii. This is a holiday that has really fallen hard this year. Last year there was a CBS special and all day programs about World War II on PBS. This year I have cable, I checked PBS, the major networks, the History channel. All of them passed without even a mention of Pearl Harbor. I checked all day. I was at home with a sore throat and had nothing better to do than watch TV. The one Pearl Harbor day mention I did find had noted giant bug Terry McAuliffe scratching at the event trying to pull some political credit out of it.
Posted by DjDuk at 09:33 PM | Comments (627)
December 06, 2004
Leet
l337. Leet is an abbreviated misspelling of the word elite. Certain elements of the internet would have us believe they are the elite hackers of the internet despite their inability to correct a typo. Leet has developed into its own dialect of the English language. Use of leet is stupid. Far stupider than anything I could ever attribute to Bailey. Whatever bad things I may say about Bailey I can always say, he's not leet, he does not speak (or type) leet.
Posted by DjDuk at 03:11 AM | Comments (3)
December 05, 2004
Ming The Merciless
One of the original maniacal villains. Ming (the less then merciful) was villain to 1930's comic book hero Flash Gordon. Ming (now 30% more brutal) was unquestioned ruler of the planet Mongo (also without mercy, possibly because of Ming's (not so merciful) presence). He attempted to conquer or destroy the Earth with merciless regularity.
Ming's (mercy-free) contributions to super-villainy include an early example of the goatee. It's interesting that the goatee fashion craze passed from Satan to supervillains to frats. Ming was also a pioneer in skullcaps. The Skullcap is a close fitting metal helmet that really showcases the massive brainpan of the evil genius. My own skullcap is of a rather impressive size, maybe not the biggest, but nothing to be embarrassed about.
Ming (still without mercy) was on the verge of a villainous breakthrough. Despite all of his farfetched plans to take over the world Ming's real weapon was the "incapacitation hold." Ming (Mercy=0) had discovered that any woman held firmly by the upper arm would be immediately docile and controllable. It's clear that he taught the hold to all of his minions as their repeated capture of professional shrieker Dale Arden attests. The several times they captured Flash Gordon the move was attempted but failed. Men were evidently not susceptible to the move, but I'm sure Ming (mercilessly) kept trying to find a Y chromosome enabled hold. Sadly the "female incapacitation move" seems to have stopped functioning in the late 1950's. Right around the time Godzilla appeared. My theory is latent and widespread low level nuclear radiation caused a fundamental change in feminine biology.
Posted by DjDuk at 01:18 AM | Comments (611)
December 04, 2004
The Mark of Shame
Today is the fourth anniversary of my employment at my job. Staying at a miserable place like that for this long can only be evidence of a serious mental disorder. I am shamed. On the bright side Bailey's four year anniversary passed in October so at least there's somebody worse than me.
Posted by DjDuk at 10:46 PM | Comments (596)
Lumens vs. Candlepower
In my endless time spent online I often run across interesting but odd things. I usually start out looking for one thing and finding many other related ones. This time I was reading up on high end compact flashlights and found a neat article that details the different ways of measuring light.
Posted by Ripley at 10:01 PM | Comments (617)
We've been hit!
I am not sure whether to feel honored or pissed. Two days ago we were hit by comment spam. Our little site went from having just 41 comments to having over 1000. This isn't the first time we have been spammed. We have previously had ads for Propecia and Gay Porn left in the comments to posts. This recent incident however, was on a much grander scale. We were targeted over a 10-12 hour period and hit from dozens of different IP addresses, this I assume is to make it harder for us to block them in the future. I just finished going through each post and deleting anywhere from one to as many as 30 comments. I have now turned off allowing HTML in comments. You are now required to leave a name and e-mail address, no more anonymous commenting. I have also blocked a large number of IP addresses from being able to leave comments. I would just like to to know how they found us. I know that none of our huge and loyal fan base would have tipped off the spammers, so where did they come from? Does this mean that we have finally hit the big time? Are we attracting enough viewers the spammers think they can make some money off of us? I guess only time will tell.
Posted by Ripley at 02:42 PM | Comments (1)
December 03, 2004
Meta
Means "beyond" or "a more recent or advanced version of." Used as a prefix for other words. Most things meta are pretty silly and possibly papal. Meta-linguistics is simply talking about language. Things like, "this sentence has twenty five words, seven commas, one open quotation mark, one closed quotation mark, and no partridges, pear trees, or rhythm." This is the sort of thing philosophers do all day. I briefly considered being a philosopher but I couldn't possibly generate that much bullshit. On demand. I'll probably generate as much useless claptrap in my life as any philosopher but I can't do it on the regular schedule required to get paid for it. Meta-logic is even worse. It's the procedure of examining logic logically. If it's necessary to go back and relogic your logic your original logic can't have been very impressive to begin with.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (623)
December 02, 2004
Web Comics
Comics published (typically) by their own authors directly to a website. The upshot is that it has allowed the author of a webcomic to operate independent of the typical syndication process comic author have to go through. Consequently web comics have the freedom to say and do whatever they want without the looming specter of publishing standards. This can lead to some excellent comics that could never be shown in a newspaper. The flip side is comics can be published without the editing requirements of publishing standards. Bluntly, some of the comics that exist out there are crap. Fortunately the business model these comics follow makes the stories themselves free and generates money for the author via banner ads and merchandising. Sifting web comics for the gems among the offal only costs time.
Some of the better comics:
Sluggy Freelance - A preeminent webcomic, somewhat burdened for new readers by seven years of back story. Featuring a fair number of Sci-fi clichés and parodies Sluggy makes just about every scenario I can think of as though it were a scene from Kangaroo Jack.
Casey & Andy - A joke a day strip in eight panels. Casey & Andy is somewhat hit or miss. Features mad scientist humor, super-villain humor, and an occasional knock against France.
8 bit Theater - An attempt to put a story to the First Final Fantasy game. It's a sprite comic, which means nobody had to draw it. The author just cobbles together pictures from the video game and adds word bubbles. It's rather funny, a bit like an episode of Big Brother with a lot of sharp knives and chance of police interference.
Penny Arcade - A joke a day style comic with the same two characters basically just angry about everything. The brief occasionally continuity is maintained by a few running gags. Mostly video game humor, Penny Arcade has a huge following.
Websnark - Not a comic itself, but a review of webcomics. Acts as a reasonable guide to what's good in web comics.
Posted by DjDuk at 11:44 AM | Comments (54)
December 01, 2004
Colorado is a great state to live in (if you own a gun)
For those two readers out there that don't know, I am a firearms enthuisiat. I currently own several handguns and a mean looking shotgun. (For any of you that get any funny ideas just remember that I keep a loaded gun next to the bed at all times.) Currenlty I shoot in a local pistol match once a month and I also shoot trap. I have also recently applied for my concealed carry permit. Being that firearms are of considerable interest to me I spend a lot of time on one of the largest gun message boards online Glock Talk. They have sub-forums dedicated to many topics, the one I have been spending the most time in recently is the Concealed Carry forum. In this forum people discuss all things related to carrying a firearm from holster selection and which is the best tactical flashlight to how to handle given scenarios and recounting personal experiences. After reading many of the personal experiences and having applied for my own permit to carry I have learned that the state laws concerning how and when you can use deadly force and what your actions leading up to that point must be, often retreating if possible, it made me curious to see what the local laws are. Boy am I glad to live in Colorado. Firstly I learned that Colorado has what is called the "Make My Day Law". Sounds cool right? It says:
(1) The general assembly hereby recognizes that the citizens of Colorado have a right to expect absolute safety within their own homes. (2) Notwithstanding the provisions of section 18-1-704, any occupant of a dwelling is justified in using any degree of physical force, including deadly physical force, against another person when that other person has made an unlawful entry into the dwelling, and when the occupant has a reasonable belief that such other person has committed a crime in the dwelling in addition to the uninvited entry, or is committing or intends to commit a crime against a person or property in addition to the uninvited entry, and when the occupant reasonably believes that such other person might use any physical force, no matter how slight, against any occupant. (3) Any occupant of a dwelling using physical force, including deadly physical force, in accordance with the provisions of subsection (2) of this section shall be immune from criminal prosecution for the use of such force. (4) Any occupant of a dwelling using physical force, including deadly physical force, in accordance with the provisions of subsection (2) of this section shall be immune from any civil liability for injuries or death resulting from the use of such force. (Colorado statute 18-1-704.5)
Put simply if anyone unlawfully enters your home you and you believe they intend to do you harm you can use whatever level of force, up to deadly force, and it is perfectly legal and you can not be sued in a civil court. EVIL DOERS BEWARE!!!
The other think that I learned that pleased me is that according to Colorado Case Law there also is no duty to flee before responding with force. In some cases you can even pursue someone if necessary.
Doctrine of retreat is from common law. There is no statutory provision regarding the duty of a person to retreat before countering the use of force with force. The doctrine derives from the common law. People v. Watson, 671 P.2d 973 (Colo. App. 1983).
The common-law doctrine of retreat to the wall has been modified and is applicable in this jurisdiction only to cases where the defendant voluntarily enters into a fight, or the parties engage in mutual combat, or the defendant, being the assailant, does not endeavor in good faith to decline any further struggle before firing the fatal shot, and possibly to other similar cases. Harris v. People, 32 Colo. 211, 75 P. 427 (1904); Enyart v. People, 67 Colo. 434, 180 P. 722 (1919).
The defendant, if he did not provoke the assault, is not obliged to retreat or flee to save his life, but may stand his ground, and even, in some circumstances, pursue his assailant until the latter has been disarmed or disabled from carrying into effect his unlawful purpose, and this right of the defendant goes even to the extent, if necessary, of taking human life. Boykin v. People, 22 Colo. 496, 45 P. 419 (1896); Enyart v. People, 67 Colo. 434, 180 P. 722 (1919).
It seems that although time has marched on Colorado has retained a little of its Wild West heritage. You can still stand up for yourself and defend your home without having to rely on the 911. Here are some related links:
Boulder Rifle and Pistol Club
Where I shoot my regular match.
Packing.org
Great info for anyone interested in concealed carry.
Colorado Revised Statutes
For those of you that are local and would like to read them for yourself. (Courtesy of Rocky Mountain Gun Owners.)
Posted by Ripley at 04:42 PM | Comments (0)