May 29, 2006
Oh Joyous Day!!
Today is the day that we celebrate the hatching of our beloved DJ Duk. On this day 26 years ago, DJ Duk was using his egg tooth to crack through his shell and venture into the world. After successfully fighting his way out, he took one look around and immediately climbed back into the shell and has stayed there ever since. Never the less, Happy Hatching Day DJ Duk.
DJ Duk has told me many a story about the fun and unique gifts that he and his friends used to give each other. Like the refrigerator box full of packing peanuts with $20 in change pressed into the peanuts, requiring that each peanut be removed from the box and torn apart. Or the box within a box, within a box, that eventually resulted in a metal cube that some poor soul tried to cut open for 30 minutes before being informed that it was empty and then handed a $20 bill.
Since this seemed such a near and dear part of DJ Duk's highschool years, I have done my best to carry on this tradition for him. The first year that resulted in a book on how to speak Maori, 2 bags of Hydrogen, and our now beloved Chomsky dressed in a pink tu-tu. This year however, I have decided to get DJ Duk something better, something useful even, something that I know he needs and would never get for himself. I have signed DJ Duk up on Match.com! This is done in the sincere hope that he will be able to find that special duck, penguin, ferret, whatever, that warms the cockles of his heart. Maybe even the one that he decides to settle down with and have hatchlings of his own, or at least get to practice making hatchlings with. So if you have a moment check him out on Match.com. You will be able to find him under the name MadAboutPenguins. So once again, Happy Hatching Day DJ Duk!!!
Posted by Ripley at 12:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 24, 2006
Nintendo Gear
How I wish I had come across this catalog 15 years ago when Nintendo still ruled the video game world. I could have then shown my undying loyalty by decking myself out in Nintendo gear from head to pencil topper!
Posted by Ripley at 11:42 AM | Comments (603) | TrackBack
May 22, 2006
Tire Scorching, Pavement Melting Mayhem!
I love the smell of burnt jet fuel and tire smoke! For any of you that have never had the pleasure of seeing high performance machines tear up the 1/4 mile you are missing out! Saturday night was Bandimere's season opening event, Night of Fire and Thunder. The event features Alcohol Funny Cars, 100+ MPH racing Snowmobiles, and many forms of bracket racing. By far the most exciting and entertaining spectacle at this show though, is getting to see the Jet Dragsters race at night.
Now I have to been to the Mile High Nationals at Bandimere twice. I have seen the Top Fuel cars terrorize the 1/4 mile and there is nothing like feeling that shockwave pressing against you and the deafening roar as they blast past at speeds over 300 MPH. But last night I realized that the Jet Dragsters are cooler. No they don't do half track burnouts leaving clouds of hazy tire smoke. Instead, during the engine warm up they emit a gigantic thick white cloud of exhaust.
I love the sound of powerful, throaty V8s. That low rumble that gives a small glimpse of the immense power on tap. That primal howl when you finally plant your right foot. The bigger and more powerful the engine, the better the sound. Top Fuel cars have the biggest and most powerful V8s around, and the sound to match. This sound is one that car people love and non-car people just don't get (I have tried to explain it to people and it just can't be done). Now Jet Cars don't have huge V8s, topped with enormous blowers, and headers that you can lose tennis balls in. And they don't have that deep ground shaking rumble. Instead they have the high pitched whine that makes you wish you were walking down the tarmac in your flight suit, parachute strapped to your back, helmet in hand, about to get into a dog fight with a Mig or two. For me at least, while watching these amazing machines get ready to launch I can almost picture myself sitting in the front seat of an F-15, my co-pilot with a cool call sign stenciled on his helmet sitting behind me, waiting for the steam catapult to launch me in to empty space.
Jet Cars are not quite as fast either. The current Top Fuel records are:
Class E.T. Speed Date Driver/Car Location
TF 4.437 10/01/05 Tony Schumacher - Long Grove, IL
'04 R.E.D. Hadman Joliet, IL
TF 336.15 05/25/05 Tony Schumacher - Long Grove, IL
'05 Hadman R.E.D Hebron, OH
Less than four and a half seconds to reach 336 MPH and cover 1280 feet! I'd beat John Force to death with a shoe for a chance to drive one of these things! (I should probably beat him to death just on prinicpal, but if I got a chance to drive a Top Fuel car as a result, even better.) Jet cars just aren't this fast. The car I saw Saturday set the track record at 293 MPH, with an E.T. around 5.5 seconds. And unlike the other two points above, there isn't a similarity that I can use. So I have decided to jump off the logic wagon and simply argue, FIRE!!!. Jet Cars shoot flames! Not the wimpy, barely visible flickers coming out of the headers on a Top Fuel car. We are talking 15 foot long, wet the pavement down so it doesn't melt, fire breathing dragon type fire. I am convinced that the ability to roast a whole chicken in 4 seconds flat trumps a few miles an hour any day.
So what have we learned here today? Jet Cars are definetly cooler for three important reasons:
1. Clouds of exhaust thick enough to obscure the sun.
2. A chance to relive those Top Gun fantasies we all had. (I get to be Iceman)
3. Fire!
For those of you lucky enough to live in the beautiful state of Colorado, you will have another chance to see them at the Checker Auto Parts 'Jet Car Nationals', August 12th.
Here are more photos and video from Saturday's event:
Video 1(14.7MB)
Video 2(10.7MB)
Video 3(31.8MB)
Posted by Ripley at 11:35 AM | Comments (612) | TrackBack
May 18, 2006
Site redesign part 1
The long overdue site redesign is officially under way. I have contracted with a college student for the princely sum of $10 to design a fitting logo for our humble website. It will most likely feature a penguin, a duck, or both. Sorry Bailey, no Furby. I have also decided that the colors need changing. I used the current colors becuase they match essentially everything in DJ Duk's wardrobe and it made him feel more comfortable. Sort of like he was hiding in his closet. These colors, being mostly blues, greys, and a lot of white, also remind him of his native land on the great ice fields of the South Pole.
But enough of the comforting and mundane! I have decided that it is high time that we have something bold and colorful. Something that will frankly scare the bejesus out of DJ Duk. Something I enjoy immensely. Maybe if I get him a little ruffled he will decide to battle the offensive colors by covering them with lots of words. One can only hope!
Posted by Ripley at 11:33 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
May 09, 2006
Yes Virginia, guns really do kill people!
Scientists now have evidence that individuals are not ultimately responsible for their own actions. This has far reaching ramifications and has already surfaced in various ways in our modern culture. Our litigious nature has enlightened us once again. Some woman didn’t burn herself with McDonald’s coffee. The coffee burned her and it was proven in court. In related news a woman sued a furniture store when she broke her ankle tripping over her son in the store. The arrangement of the furniture was most definitely to blame. Gun manufacturers are fast becoming the target of lawsuits as people realize that the person behind the firearm used to commit a crime is not ultimately responsible. The gun is the problem and the company that made the gun. The coffee burns so the company the made the coffee should face charges. I tripped over my son in a furniture store. The arrangement of the furniture is at fault. I shot and killed somebody with this gun. The gun is to blame.
Guns kill people. The ones who fired them are arbitrary and not important. It could and often does happen to anybody. A gun occasionally jumps into the hands of that innocent guy with a ski mask on in the bank and wreaks havoc. The casual knife fight sometimes gets escalated when a gun rears its ugly muzzle. This notion of personal responsibility, of free will, is biblical and outdated. In a society that constantly bombards us with messages and slogans and advertisements, people can no longer think for themselves. I am amazed that the true perpetrators of gun crime have just now been discovered. They had been hiding in plain sight this whole time. It’s the guns!
The scientists traced the murders to the firearms by starting with the victims. Turns out the causes of death varied. Common reasons were loss of blood or the failure of some vital organ. After causal analysis these fatal wounds were created by bullets that passed into or through the victims’ bodies at some point pre-mortem. The bullet is a fast moving projectile that carries considerable kinetic energy that human bodies are not designed to repel. It took some fact-finding but scientists ascertained that bullets originate from firearms. Firearms were also linked to individuals because the trigger of the weapon needs to be pulled to launch the bullet. However, that link was found to be coincidental. After all, the people wielding the firearms are not responsible for their own actions so the buck stops here, with the guns themselves. Any human involvement was chance and/or unintentional.
Further ammo to clear any wrong doing by people in gun deaths is the fact that guns have occasionally killed people without another person pulling the trigger. There are documented cases of animals pulling the trigger and firearms discharging themselves upon being dropped or rattled. It could be anyone or anything that discharges these malicious and deadly devices.
The study is already being put to good use as people around the world lobby for increased gun control. They realize it is important to get these dangerous devices out of reach of people, animals… or just about anything really.
Posted by Buckaroo Banzai at 02:46 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack